boys

-i'm done done done

-i don't want to look at them anymore

-see the places that don't exist-i want to get dressed unconsciously in jeans from the 70's

-goodbye, i probably won't miss you too much

-i can't lie, i'll miss the spaces

-home for now?
-"And I'm lonesome when you're around. And I'm never lonesome when I'm by myself. And I miss you when you're around."

hot, hot, hot, hot, hot sun

eating in oaxaca, sitting in my room wearing shorts.
listening to a whispery singing girl and birds.
scanning photos, not caring.

april showers

bunnies, chickens, and plastic eggs are nice.

living again

i didn't go anywhere, really. i was waiting until everything worked out. it did. for now, though, i have to pretend that the terrible economy will melt away like none of this ever happened. i'll close my eyes when i see all the people lined up outside the worksource building. and i have to pretend that i know what i'm doing on june 14th. i have to pretend that the only domestic bit about me isn't dead. i have to pretend that my room isn't dark, i can speak spanish fluently, and that you can afford collective life. i have to pretend that i won't miss this city, pretend i'm not leaving. i don't want to pretend that i'm not going to miss the roads, the trees, the buildings, the smells, the air, my babies, and my bus passes piled on top of each other. i'm going to listen to rockist pt. 1 until it all goes away and i can re-write this and stop after the third sentence. i don't think we should worry.

my point isssss

why should i care? because you don't.

xmas break countdown:
27 hrs
3.5 hrs of work
1 test
3 bus rides
a million hrs of studying

door

i can only think in lists:
-astrology
-happy/sad endings
-things should be more like they are in the movies
-i want to change

broken thanksgiving

this thanksgiving is going to be all sorts of stupid.